Monday, August 26, 2013

Drugs are bad mkay? I smoked but I didn't inhale :)

Got it ???

This could happen to you! You have been warned.

Couch similar to the one I sat on for three months.

If I ever play...and then win the Lotto. The first thing I'm buyin' is a Popemobile.

Sweet tattoo I did on my own hand. And no...that picture is not out of focus. It just looks that bad. Say NO to drugs people!

It may come as quite a shock to you, but I may or may not have experimented with some drugs over the years. I know that doesn't surprise anyone. The reality is that my experience has been pretty limited in my 40 years of life...that probably shocks you more than anything...and I understand that. The truth is, I never did much of anything until after I graduated from college and moved to Athens. I was pretty much straight edge in high school with the exception of the time my parents got me and my best friend drunk on shit like black berry brandy and peppermint schnapps just to watch us puke my junior year...and we did puke...a lot. I actually thought about becoming a DEA agent for a while because I was so anti-drug after watching my brother and others around me end up in the gutter. I joined the Army at 17 and got out the same week I graduated from college. I was randomly drug tested that entire time, so I never did more than have a drink here and there during that time. I was in a band that toured Europe which included going to Amsterdam every time and I never smoked once. I'm probably the only one in the band that remembers anything from those trips. Speaking of trips...and Amsterdam...reminds me of a little story....that has nothing to do with this topic...but I'm gonna tell you anyway.

So we had played a show in Amsterdam at a club called the Melkweg and we were heading to a after party in our honor. So we stayed in our stage clothes, which for me included thigh high platform boots, a corset and they gave me a bottle of Jaigermeister to carry because I was the only one in the band that wouldn't drink it...Well there may have been a few times, but I don't know if I have the courage to tell you what happened when I did :) Maybe if a drink a shot or two, I'll blog about it one day. Anyways, we were all bad ass and shit marching through the streets when all of the sudden my feet flew up over my head and I ate shit. I looked behind me to see what I slipped on and there was a fucking banana peel on the ground. It was straight out of a cartoon. I was waiting for the Road Runner to fly by and an Acme anvil to drop on my head next. I'm pretty sure one of my band mates wet his pants laughing at me as he pulled me up. The important thing is I managed to save the bottle of Jager, but not my bloody bloody elbows. I have never felt COOLER in my entire life. No drugs required...just pure grace and elegance.

Moving on...where was I? Oh ya drugs...

So I moved to Athens in 1998 to become a tattoo artist. Needless to say, my first year of tattooing was not my finest. I had a really hard time sleeping because I'd lay in bed thinking about the tattoos I had done that day and the ones I'd be doing the next day. You'd be amazed at what people will do if it's free. I'd be like "Hey, you want a free tattoo? I've only done 2 and they looked like shit and yours probably will too, but it's free...And one day when I'm better, I might be able to fix it or cover it up...maybe" And 99% of the time they would say "Hell Ya! Put it on me!" So after about a year without sleep and trying various sleeping meds, somebody I tattooed with said " just need to smoke some weed." And one day I did. And I tell you what...slept like a mother fuckin' baby that night. Not a care in the world. Shortly after, I was in a relationship with another tattoo artist who was a total pot head and I smoked quite a bit of weed during that time.

Then there was the only carefree moment of my entire life. For the most part I have always been super responsible and goal oriented. I have never gone off the rails too bad except for the summer of '99. And let me tell you ...THAT was a good time. I'm not promoting drug use and for the most part, I think drugs are a really bad idea unless they are relieving pain or helping somebody to cope with an illness. And the bottom line is, I'm way too cheap to be a drug addict. I would never pay for that shit. I rather get a new pair of shoes to be honest. And I'm pretty sure I didn't spend a dime on drugs at that point because I was a body piercer and a tattoo apprentice and couldn't afford to eat let alone buy drugs. But I managed to get high with a little help from my friends that summer. That was the year of ecstasy in Athens. I sat on a couch in a second floor apartment on Clayton St. for about 3 months looking out the window and watching all the crackheads dance. Someone would roll by and drop a pill in my mouth every once in a while and I just hung out. People that know me, know that I have stranger danger...I don't talk to them. I'm not a hugger and not really into space invaders...I would prefer to live in a bubble if it were possible. If I could travel in a Popemobile instead of walking down the street, I'd do that shit in a minute! Ecstasy took all that crap away. It was such a relief to want to talk to strangers and hug it out for absolutely no reason at all. Everybody was happy and having a good time. I wasn't worried about paying my bills, or the future or anything at all. My biggest concern during that time was hoping a REALLY good song would come on next. I remember people talking about me. They would be like "That girl has been in that same spot on the couch for like a week." And I'd be like..."It's been more like two! Why don't you come sit next to me and I'll tell you about all the things I have seen from here :)" It was like I was part of the couch and there was a constant flow of new people that would come and sit down next to me. It felt good to have the ability to bullshit with a total stranger and love every minute of it. Eventually, I got off that couch and moved on with my life. 

During that time, I also tried cocaine. I honestly don't get that shit at all. I can't believe how much money people spend on that stuff. Sure, I was a little more chatty and definitely had a little more pep in my step but other than that, not really that exciting. I rather spend my $100 on three shots of espresso and you guessed it...a new pair of shoes than buy that crap. I did however manage to leave a permanent reminder of that experience on my body. So... I didn't actually sleep that night...NEWS FLASH! and went to work the next day. I decided it would be a really AWESOME idea to tattoo a stick figure of a happy vampire bat on my hand in my spare time with my spare energy. Most of the time, tattoos on the palm of the hand fall out because the type of skin and the wear and tear that your hands go through. I figured it would be temporary....not so much :) I really drilled that shit in there...that bitch is with me for life. SUPER!

That's pretty much my drug history in a nutshell. With the exception of the the whole reason I sat down to write this blog...It was supposed to be about the Mother's Day Helen, GA Drug Bust of 2000something. Can't remember the exact year. Maybe 2001???? It's hilarious, I assure you, but this shit is already too long. I'm boring myself at this point...but stay tuned...I'll tell ya all about it :)


  1. Ha, I really like reading your blogs. But I had a feeling at some point Helen would come about. I can't wait to read your story on it. I still laugh about it to this day.

  2. Ha Cat...I was wondering if you would see this. I will do my best to tell the story exactly as it happened but I wasn't working with all of my brain cells that day. Feel free to fill any holes I may leave in the story or correct me if I'm wrong :)

  3. I can't wait to read it. I have been reading your blogs and I think they are great. That was a pretty funny day. I haven't been back to Helen since lol

    1. neither. Post traumatic stress syndrome! And I still have all my teeth so I feel like an outcast :)

  4. Hahahaha, I agree with the post traumatic stress until I think about the one officer sliding down the hill. It's funny you say that about your teeth, I forgot you had that bad tooth ache the whole time too.